MA - Mientje (Hermina Hendrika Theunissen)

  • A family friend trying to talk some sense into Ma (in relation to her marriage), but Ma just kept on insisting:

    Maar ik hou niet van hem...
  • Ma met Hans. Berg en Dalseweg 474
    BORN: 28/06/1908 (Hees, Nijmegen)
    DIED: 15/09/2005 (Nijmegen)

    FOTO:
    At home on the Berg en Dalseweg, with Hans. Pa constructed the driveway from flagstones (always a puzzle how to fit them together).

    Not sure who maintained the gardens... can anyone enlighten?
    Auckland, New Zealand
    This foto taken in Auckland when Antoon was departing New Zealand for Australia by boat.

    On that same morning in his hotel room he woke up to his record playing on the radio 'The Beetles Morning March' recorded in Christchurch a few months earlier (by 'Tony and the Twangers'). The record was often played on air (Antoon used to be famous then... ).
    Ma did her best in terms of cooking, washing, cleaning, etc., but often suffered from severe migraine headaches.

    When in the kitchen she often used to sing:
    (Versie 1)
    Toen onze mop een mopje was,
    Was hij aardig om te zien;
    Nu bromt hij alle dagen,
    En bijt nog bovendien.
    Waf-woef, waf-woef,
    Waf-woef, waf-woef,
    En bijt nog bovendien;
    Nu bromt hij alle dagen,
    En bijt nog bovendien.

    Je bent een heel bedorven dier!
    Eerst nam je, wat ik bood;
    Nu wil je lekk're beetjes,
    En lust niet eens meer brood.
    Waf-woef, waf-woef,
    Waf-woef, waf-woef,
    En lust niet eens meer brood;
    Nu wil je lekk're beetjes,
    En lust niet eens meer brood.

    De mop zei hierop tot den knaap;
    Hoe dwaas praat gij daar toch!
    Had gij mij niet bedorven,
    'k Was een lief mopje nog:
    Waf-woef, waf-woef,
    Waf-woef, waf-woef,
    'k Was een lief mopje nog;
    Had gij mij niet bedorven,
    'k Was een lief mopje nog.

    (Versie 2)
    Bakker Roding
    ONS DAGELIJKS BROOD

    Mientje en de bakker, die kwam aan elke middag. Antoon kochte wel eens wat krentebollen van zijn karretje voor 5 cent per stuk.

    Hans met de poes
    Pa, Hanny, Hans (met de poes) en Ma.



    30689... "Met Verplak (steenhouwerij)"
    Dag Mevrouw Verplak, is Meneer Verplak thuis?
    "Ik zal even kijken of hij er is..."
    Ma kijkt naar Pa, Pa schud zijn hoofd...
    Enige minuten later...
    "Nee, hij is er niet..." ... ...
    HOEREN EN DIE 'KEREL'

    However, she was a very suspicious person and used to accuse Pa of visiting whores after he came home visiting clients to collect moneys owing, chase up slow payers, and solicit new business.

    She further accused him of having a "rotte lul", and that he had run up large debts and some mysterious man (die "kerel") was always chasing him (to collect the debt?). Antoon remembers well Mientje telling him that after his death we should only accept his assets, and refuse his debts... (nobody has ever seen any evidence of debts).

    Sure, occasionally he had a drink in the pub with his colleagues.

    Never willing to take part in important discussions, she was provocative by simply remaining silent (emotional abuse) which of course resulted in conflict and occasional violence, witnessed by us children. Pa often referred to her as the "doofpot".

    If something did not suit, walk away or discard - rather than find a solution. If there were issues in a relationship, just part ways. No ability or desire to talk things out. This attribute can be found in everyone of us children, to various degrees. We were taught nothing on relationships, and of course by their example we only learned about conflict and nothing how to resolve them.

    As part of her attitudes, other kids were referred to as 'blagen' (a derogative word for 'kids') and "rotjongens", and Hanny was a "stuk sjaggerein" thereby (unintentionally) teaching us not to respect others. Topy already picked up the habit then, calling everybody else all sorts of names. Trutten, kerels, rotzakken, etc.

    'Jong geleerd, Oud gedaan'.

    Even later in life she habitually accused Hanny of stealing things she could not find.

    Oh yes... sex was a dirty and prohibited word ("but it was the times", Trudy said). We were taught nothing. And no stories, no affection, no cuddles, no hugs.

    To this date, the word 'sex' is outlawed in Topy's house.

    Antoon recalls confrontations between Ma and himself, with Ma looking extremely angry at him. Not on rare occasions did Michael and Antoon get chased with the wooden spoon... and when one day it broke in the process, Ma became really furious. We must have been some ratbags...

    Antoon recalls Ma once drawing the breadknife onto Pa.

    Ma periodically quietly helped herself to the green cash-box and hoarded money over years. At one time Hans was replacing the lino in the little office downstairs and found a sizeable amount of cash there. It is clear that Ma was planning to leave for a long time but without prior discussion.

    Karma appears to be handed down to the next generation: Later exactly the same was done to Antoon by his wife Merilyn.

    OPPOSING HER HUSBAND

    Once Pa had the opportunity to buy a partly completed house in a nearby place called 'Mook' but Ma refused to sign the necessary documents. Antoon still hears her say while sitting in the lazy sofa "Ik zit hier goed" (I am fine here).

    EMIGREREN

    As mentioned elsewhere, Pa always wanted to immigrate to New Zealand as a family. After years of delays certain enquires were made and it turned out that Ma went to the Embassy in The Hague (together with Topy) and cancelled the application behind Pa's back. No-one was told. Only decades later, Trudy told us of Topy's certain recollections to that effect.

    Pa told us that one of Ma's sisters had spent time in a mental asylum.

    Trudy & Topy gave her a lot of credit for waiting until the last child had left for New Zealand.

    However, she remained steadfast in her unwillingness to discuss anything. If she had to explain herself to any of the children, she started off with "Het komt zo...".


    Kopje thee en dan naar de WC...



    In liefde gedenken wij

    Mientje (Hermina Hendrika) Theunissen

    Geboren te Hees (Nijmegen) op 28 juni 1908 en overleden op 15 september 2005 te Nijmegen.
    Ze is begraven op begraafplaats jonkerbos.

    Moeder is gehuwd geweest met Antoon Verplak
    Trudy en Jan (New Zealand)
    Marcel en Cathy, Antoinette en Peter,Tony en Rachel
    Achterkleinkinderen: Awhi, Henry en Kahu, Solomon en Isabella, Samuel en Alexander

    Topy en Roland (New Zealand)
    Yuri en Vicky, Michael en Rachel, Nikolai
    Achterkleinkinderen: Olivia

    Michael en Judy (Australia)
    Nicolai en Margaret,Misha en Mishelle, Lara
    Achterkleinkinderen: Tristan, Jarred, Lucy, Reece, Meg, Claire, en Aaron, Kathleen, Edmund en Charlotte

    Antoon en Arlene
    Anton en Danya

    Hanny en Frans
    Elles, Robert, Esther, Patricia en Anouk
    Achterkleinkinderen: Merlijn, en Julia

    Hans
    Danielle, Joost en Maja

    Moeder maakte deel uit van een gezin met zeven kinderen.
    In april 1937 trouwde ze met Antoon Verplak; zij kregen zes kinderen.
    Naast de eerste en tweede wereldoorlog maakte zij ook hun eigen oorlog mee. In een laat stadium van hun leven heeft de liefde toch overwonnen en hebben zij zich weer verzoend met elkaar.
    Van haar zes kinderen wonen er twee in New Zealand en twee in Australia.
    Vele zomers bracht zij door bij haar overzeese kinderen.
    Haar kinderen kwamen altijd op de eerste plaats, voor zichzelf had ze niet zoveel nodig.
    Tot haar 90ste woonde ze zelfstandig, waarna ze zes jaar lang een nieuw thuis vond in de Doekenborg.
    Vanwege een gebroken heup belandde ze via verpleeghuis Margriet in de Orangerie waar ze weer tot rust kwam.
    De laatste tijd was ze vaak moe, moe van het leven, ze wilde graag naar vader.

    Als we aan moeder denken, denken we aan blauwe brieven, roze bloemen, kopjes thee en tevredenheid.

    Moeders laatste woorden waren 'Het is goed zo'.


    Onze bijzondere dank gaat uit naar het personeel van de Doekenborg en de Orangerie.
    Voor alle mensen om ons heen, fijn dat jullie er waren.



    FOOTNOTE:
    Antoon never knew anything about their reconcilliation, It's either untrue or it shows how he's been kept out of the loop (as per usual by the ladies).
    For further reading, click on the home icon (top left) and select another member of the family.

    the verplak family